"You are a fifty-one year old woman with the lungs of a seventy-five year old... " the doctor began. My ordinarily youthful, upbeat attitude took a dive when he clarified "you smoked for thirty-two years, about two packs a day?" "Sounds about right." I replied, beaten. After all, it's not like I asked him "Why me?" or "How could this happen?" I knew perfectly well how I arrived at this moment and I'll tell you that for a person with few regrets in her lifetime, this one suddenly loomed large. Still, a hint of a bedside manner would have been appreciated even though I am a bottom line kind of woman. I got the message.
When the news is dramatic and frightening, of the no-turning-back variety-- you take heed. This is real. This is the direct result of choices I made; there is no one else to blame. Sickening, completely helpless emotions tried to drown my fortitude and I admit, for a few days I lounged on the pity pot. But only for a few days because I am blessed with a resilient spirit.
Thankfully, I'd awakened to the realization that I was slowly killing myself and after countless attempts at quitting smoking, I finally did it March 25, 2001. Fast forward to April 2006 and I'm reflecting on my last major asthma attack in the seventies, wishing my (then) record of quitting for 9 months, 22 days and 8 hours had stuck. But no, it was the time of white Chic jeans with rainbow stripes down the sides and I owned a few pair: size five, size seven, size nine but when I had to purchase size 11, I picked up a pack of cigarettes on my way back home from the local shopping center. Smoking since I was a pre-teen with anesthetized taste buds, a pretty poor appetite and until then, a metabolism that others envied, I wasn't prepared for the results of eating six Heath Ice Cream Bars in one setting. I hadn't a clue what might occur when I devoured quart upon quart of Italian Ices or any of the similar indulgences I abused during those nine months. Size eleven on my 5'4" frame was more than my ego could bear so lighting up nipped that problem in the bud. Yessiree.
My journey toward becoming a non-smoker took another couple of decades. Time spent trying different methods of quitting, making promises to myself - swiftly broken promises. As I reflected on the recent news delivered by a no-nonsense Doc, I wished for the umpteenth time that I'd never started smoking.
In addition to health and wellness interests, Terry Lynne Hale runs a freelance writing and desktop publishing business, care2shareNOW. Her passion for the Internet fueled the writing of her first book, Ageless Internet - Internet Basics for Boomers and Seniors. Please visit agelessInternet.com for more information. Providing quality quit smoking writings, articles and reviews online.
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